When the consultant rings you on a Sunday evening, your heart sinks.

I had my MRI scans on Friday morning. In a big van in the hospital car park. Just as husband was saying, “when do you think you’ll get the results?” as we were making Sunday dinner, the phone rang.

The consultant rheumatologist was on the phone asking if now was a good time. I sat down on the stairs and tried to remember to breathe.

Sorry, I am leading you down a dramatic path…

The good news is that there are no signs of axial spondyloarthritis. Hoorah! So that means it is unlikely any of this crippling is due to a degenerative disease. What the scans did show is the suspected herniated disc, which is quite a whopping bad one. I can’t help wondering what the hell it looked like a few months ago when I couldn’t walk at all.

I am very grateful to her for ringing. She was just being diligent as she is moving jobs and wanted to have another chat with me before it was someone taking over. Another reason I will always support the NHS – they are generally very good people with kindness in their hearts that happen to be shat on by the government (much like teachers, actually).

Some spinal people are going to review the scans to see if they think I can escape surgery. I’ve been referred for emergency specialist physio. Today I feel like a weight has been lifted – I know that this can get better, it should completely heal. Now in the mean time, I can focus on what I can control and get studying.

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